Friday, January 30, 2009

Love or money?

I have found the most hilarious blog: http://dabagirls.wordpress.com/ It is proving to be entertaining. I am hoping for a few more few moments so I can enjoy a few laughs. I do have to agree with it is better to date old money, however not being able to find old money in this neck of the woods, I guess I will stick with nerds who have the potential to earn money. Truth be told though, I think I might rather have love. There is a phrase I never thought I would utter since CLB. When asked in Dec 1998, I distinctly remember stating that I would marry for money-pretty much because I felt like I could never love anyone again. Ten years later and I have chosen love over money numerous times. The thought of "why can't I find both" tends not to be in my head. I guess the fact I can support myself and live the lifestyle I want plays a big part in that. Heath doesn't have money, doesn't come from money, and unless I am missing something-doesn't seem to be destined to have loads of money. I'm not saying that love is there either, but I definitely believe it could be. I have dated a few guys because of their money and was disappointed by their lack of respect of people in general and annoyed by their sense of entitlement.

I attended an interesting discussion today on Dissociative Identity Disorder. Thank goodness I have the curtain of "Psychiatrist" to hide behind because my fascination with the disorder is evident in my extensive collection of books on the subject. I obtained several articles on the subject at the discussion and look forward to reading them. I guess my interest in the subject came about when my therapist in medical school pointed out how easily I dissociated. I realize it is a coping mechanism and that everyone dissociates to a degree. I can't imagine how I would have handled certain things without dissociating. I guess the point here is the degree to which dissociation disrupts your life. While I have been to the store and not recalled going to the store and I definitely had things in my cabinet from that trip that I would never in my wildest dreams care to eat, I couldn't imagine if that happened on a regular basis. I look at dissociative behavior the same as passing out from too much pain. The body couldn't handle the stimulus of pain, so the body shuts the person down, temporarily. I think dissociation is the brain/body's way of dealing with the emotional and physical stress and pain.

Well, it is almost time for check-out rounds. I am on call again tonight. The lack of sleep from call, my ear anxiety, my ear pain, and stress about life in general is getting to me. I am hoping for a few hours of sleep and maybe some good stories to pass on in my blog. My job tends not to be boring!

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