My ear is getting better

Last night was pretty hectic. At least it was not overwhelming. The patients showed up one right after the other. I had an appointment with ENT this morning. My ear is 95% healed and I can almost let the doctor clean out my ear without squirming.

My ear is getting better!

My day was more or less boring. I had a post-op check-up on my ear. He said it is healing beautifully and I should be able to fly in two more weeks.

I talked to Heath some, but since I am not feeling so well, I didn't grill him about anything. He offered to come by and see me for a few minutes this evening on his way home (which technically I am 30 minutes out of his way). I felt too bad to see anyone. I curled up in bed with ibuprofen and a chocolate bar. With my general foul mood the past several days, I am wondering if I was PMSing. I have a period one in a blue moon, so I am not used to the ups and downs, but in the past I have noticed that I am a total (depressed) witch the week before I have a period. Maybe I am just in a bad mood for no hormonal reason. However if the crying doesn't stop, I am going to have to purchase a bushel of cucumbers.

Only one at the table

I am beginning to hear more sounds! I guess the swelling is going down and the bleeding is less and less as the days go on. Today I have only had 2 Tylenol so far, so I guess I am getting better.

Clinic was okay, only half of my patients came to their appointments. I think the snow, ice, and cold are still keeping some away. I was able to meet Heath for dinner tonight. We went to Kanki. We had a table with all women, which was quite interesting. Heath has been ordering for me, per my request. One of the girls gave him the look of death when he ordered for me, but I happen to think it is a nice gesture. The waiters aren't able to hear me. It was fun to watch all the girls pay for their meals and have my date pay for mine, plus I enjoyed the company. We parted ways after dinner. He had another 9:00 phone call tonight. I guess I will talk to him before I go to bed.

I am exhausted

I had more ear surgery today and spent most of the afternoon in bed. The ear is doing better, but it is not healing as fast as we had hoped. I will not be flying to Asheville for at least another month.

I talked to Heath on the phone this afternoon. He thought I was cooking dinner this evening. Did he miss the part where I was having surgery this morning??? Specifically in the discharge instructions, the nurse told me I was not to cook. I told him that, but he did not believe me. He then pondered about do they tell men not to shoot guns and do they also tell men not to cook. Well, I am pretty sure they tell everyone not to cook and they tell you not to do anything you would not do drunk. I found his statements kind of sexist. He also said that he wanted to go eat at Moe's tomorrow night. Hello?!? I was making meatloaf because you said you did not want to go out anymore. The meat is in the freezer and even if he wants meatloaf there is no way it will be thawed. At some point this gender role discussion will have to be addressed.

I have a full clinic tomorrow and I am not looking forward to it. I have my first intake clinic in the morning with 4 new patients and then my geriatric clinic with 5 return patients. Mentally I do not know if I am ready for clinic, but as long as I am not in pain and not crying I should be able to do it.

Benefit of the Doubt?

Today has been a slow day. My pager did not go off, so I was very thankful for that. My ear pain has been a 7/10 for most of the day and my fever has been 100 degrees. My surgery is scheduled for 9:50am tomorrow.

I did not see Heath today, but I talked to him several times on the phone. Tonight he had dinner with his neighbor. I went to the grocery store (note the ear pain and fever) to buy food so I could make dinner for him later in the week. When I told him that I went to the store, he said that he was glad. He said he was giving me the benefit of the doubt that I have been feeling crappy since my last surgery, but that we can't keep going out. Um, excuse me, not once has he offered to make dinner. This is a two way street! Another thing I bet he has not realize yet is my work hours are pretty bad. I have been working a lighter load with the ear surgery and the holidays, but most days I don't get home until 6:00 or 7:00. It takes an hour to an hour and a half to cook dinner and a half an hour to eat. He likes to be home by 7:30 and he lives 30 minutes away. I guess we will have to figure out a schedule. Cooking every night will not work for me.

Is Bipolar Disorder real?

It is has been a rough day! It was a rough day at work and one I would rather forget. I am happy that I am able to spend the majority of tomorrow at home tomorrow. I am still unable to fly, so Asheville is still on hold. I miss Asheville, though.

My mother is coming tomorrow, so she can go with me on Wednesday for my ear procedure. While I dread all things dealing with my ear, I am not totally against this visit. The pain in my ear the past two days has been excruciating and my fear is that something may be wrong. I would go to the Emergency Department, but cost and the knowledge that they would look in my ear keeps me from going.

I went to dinner with Heath tonight. We went to Hardee's, which I will admit was not really what I wanted, but I could not think of anything to eat. I had originally wanted to cook but between the throbbing pain of my ear and the late day at work, a trip to the store did not happen. I need to start cooking for Heath. I can tell he is getting irritated at eating out every night. Tomorrow night he is having dinner at his neighbor's house. I am invited, but they are having shrimp. Skipping it seems like the most appropriate action, since I won't be able to eat the meal.

Heath said something shocking on the way to dinner-there is no such thing as bipolar disorder. I did not give him much time to explain it after he said it. Later on the phone he explained he meant that many people say they have it when they don't and use it as an excuse. He says he believes me that bipolar disorder exists, but I don't know if I believe that he believe that. He wants to know why I think it is so important. Um, I don't know, could it be because that I treat mental illness for a living! I would like my significant other to believe what I do to be important. Given my last post, I think it might be important that he believe depression is an actual disorder too. I guess time will tell. I have been in relationships where the guy did not believe in mental illness and where the guy did not believe in medicine and I can tell you those relationships did not work too well.

Heath did say something sweet tonight on the phone. He said he missed me last night. He left around 6:00pm yesterday to finish up work and to let me catch up on work. We talked off and on all evening, but he said he still missed me. I guess he probably did want me to come over. Maybe I will make it to Raleigh in the next week or so.