To tell or not to tell

So, I am trying to publish a post for Friday, however it is already Saturday. I was not able to post yesterday due to the fact I had a very busy call night. More on that in the Saturday post. I think it will definitely go down in history as my worst psych call volume wise, but more on that later. Back to Friday's post. It was a rather busy Friday despite two of my patients not showing up. I had three hours of work left over from Thursday and at most of it was not finished by the end of Friday.

Heath is still sick. So far, knock on wood, I have stuffiness and a sore throat, but it isn't too bad. I called him at lunch to check on him and he was trying to hurry up with his work, so he could head home. On his way home an hour or so later he called, so I did get to talk to him, which definitely did brighten my day. I don't know how we got on the subject of color blindness, but I asked him if anyone in his family had color blindness. I wasn't even thinking of family history of illness, but he was on the defensive about it. Back to that in a sec. So over the past few weeks I have asked Heath about certain illnesses. I don't target in on heart disease or cancer. I go straight to schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. It was more of an issue, especially with schizophrenia, at an earlier age, that the guy had a possibility of developing schizophrenia. Now it is more that our children would have schizophrenia, which is not always devastating, but it seems really scary to me. About bipolar, I am worried about meeting someone with bipolar, however I think after a few months of dating, I would figure it out. As far as children, well I have a sister with bipolar and my parents seem to be surviving. I guess I also do interrogate about history of twins in ones family which isn't always genetic. So in the past few weeks these questions have popped out of my mouth and Heath has answered. To me those questions were serious, yesterday I did not even think about the color blindness being serious. He became defensive and told me he would not tell me because I would not tell him who I voted for in the last election.

I can understand why one would want to know who their girlfriend/boyfriend voted for. I think the more important issue, however, is their stance on the issues. So, while dishonest, I have told some people I voted for one candidate and told other people I voted for another candidate. Now, I know "Thou shall not lie," but sometimes "Thou just wants to keep the peace." So, I think it is odd, that one wants to hear from my mouth who I voted for. Get to know me and it becomes pretty obvious. I am a psychiatrist and for the underdog. I want to help the underprivileged like no one's business. While I don't think necessarily think one party is for this and one is against it, I do believe one party is much better at it. I am pro-choice, so much so that I fear being excommunicated by my church. I write letters and am very vocal about it. I have helped patients obtain appointments (as well as remind them the choice included keeping their child or putting the child up for adoption-it is pro-choice). I have environmental bumper stickers all over my car, MySpace page, and various other places. Some people think Al Gore is a joke, I think he makes sense. I write countless e-mails about environmental bills to Congress, that I am probably on my Senators' "to be watched" list. I don't use compact fluorescent bulbs because I want to save money but because I cry whenever I think (or talk-so don't get me started) about mountain-top removal. While not a direct connection between bulbs and mountain-top removal, I am not always logical. If they told me wearing purple would stop it, then I would look like a grape daily. While not exactly an issue, I am a single white educated female. The majority of this demographic fall into a certain political party. I do scientific research, which is funded well by one party and horribly by another.

I do realize I send mixed messages. I am conservative in the way I act and dress. I am fairly religious and don't part with my church's views on much (yeah, I know the issue mentioned previously is a big deviation). I don't believe in premarital sex, but that doesn't mean I only want abstinence taught in school Do you know how I felt when an adolescent female wanted me to show her how to use a certain barrier device and I really couldn't. Of note, I did find someone to show her. I really think I should have learned that somewhere and perhaps before medical school, like how about when half of my high school class was becoming pregnant and a percentage of them contracting STD's.

So, I don't know if I will ever tell anyone who I voted for (although, given my stance I think a little obvious). I have never told, except post-brain surgery where I revealed I didn't vote for Bush. I honestly don't think that was a shock to anyone. I think people need to focus on the issues. Elections come and go and you don't always get what you want, but that doesn't mean that you have to be silent in the corner...