Recycled Paper Towels are difficult to find

This morning I cleaned up the kitchen, then made it messy again by making French Toast. Then Heath and I headed to Staples for paper towels. I have been searching for recycled paper towels for almost a month and have not been able to find them. Heath saw an add for recycled paper towels at Staples and sent it to me. We headed to Staples and then headed to BJ's. We also went to Target. I came home and cleaned out the car and did some laundry. I did some cleaning, but I plan to do the bulk of my cleaning and organizing when I come back from Atlanta.

A busy day

Heath spent the night. I woke up to him crawling into bed-he did not let go of me the rest of the night. We spent the day running errands. He was a little peeved saying that he got things done during the week, so he could spend the day with me. Well, that would be nice, but it is not practical for me. Heath does not go to the grocery store and one trip to BJ's once every two months takes care of household items. The errands were not that bad a trip to the hardware store and a trip to Best Buy. Best Buy was for him-he needed a new bluetooth headset. He griped about the grocery store, but he was the one that demanded I cook every once in a while. Food does not magically appear in the pantry and fridge. After the store, we played the Wii, which seemed to make him happier. I made dinner, which was yummy, and then we watched ghost stories on television.

What a way to ruin a movie

Heath and I are not speaking tonight, which is sort of odd because he is still over here. He was here when I arrived home from work. He seemed to be in a better mood since he could sit on the couch and play WoW, instead of sitting in the car and watching he DVR. He wanted to go see a movie. Technically, it was my turn to choose the movie. He did not want to see my choice. Neither of us wanted to sit through the 3 hour Watchman movie either. He had really wanted to see this other movie-Last House on the Left. I watched the preview and it was about a girl being kidnapped and her dad getting revenge. I enjoyed Taken, so the premise was not upsetting. Seeing that it was by Wes Craven, however did not sit well with me. Wes Craven is obsessed with rape. I told Heath that I did not want to see anyone getting raped. He said, oh they would not show that in this movie. Stupidly, I believed him. Well about an hour into the movie, the main character is raped. For about a minute, I looked at Heath-he did not look away from the screen-ugh! I stormed out of the theater (actually it was a pretty calm walk-he came after me about 15 seconds later. He was making his way to the exit of the cinema-I was leaning against the wall. I told him that he could watch the rest of the movie, but he said he did not want to since I did not want to see it. I still can not get the images and sounds in the movie out of head. I let him choose the movie last time and it contained three people committing suicide by blowing out their brains. Two scenes I do not want to see in movies-rape and suicide by shooting self in head. We walked in silence to the car and then rode in silence to the Mexican restaurant. Then we ate dinner in complete silence-not a single word was spoken-with the exception of telling the waitress our orders. We came back to my house and I assumed Heath would go home. However he sat down on the couch and turned on his computer. After about 45 minutes of watching Heath read the news, I changed my clothes, walked on the treadmill, took a shower, and crawled into bed. So far, he has not left.

The key to my heart?

Today, I did something I have never done. I gave a guy a key to my house. Heath did not really think of it as a big deal, but I think it is a big step for me. I don't think he is going to invade my privacy and I would also like to think he would knock before he uses the key-my parents do. He did not ask for a key. I basically drove us (yes, I know-he complained about being tired and made me drive-not that I'm not tired, have worked 11 or 12 hour days this week and only gotten 5 hours or less of sleep a night) to the hardware store, purchased a copy of my key and handed it to him. He was upset about sitting in his car waiting for me because he does not want to drive the twenty minutes to his house from work and then drive thirty minutes back to my house. It makes sense and if it means he will not bite my head off when I am running behind due to a patient (gee, you mean I don't intentionally run behind-it is because I am with a patient), I guess I can give him a key.

Wash away life

I am beginning to dislike Wednesdays-they are entirely too long. They begin between 7:00 and 7:30am and do not end until 7:00pm. To top it off, I feel completely exhausted by Tuesday's early morning flight. I was in a laughing mood yesterday, no doubt from the exhaustion. I felt the need to laugh at topics that were very funny. Quite embarrassing!

I attended a lecture on OCD. It is fascinating to me about how OCD ruled my life at one point, but with the help of medications and therapy, I am doing much better. I still have some contamination fears, but they are not so strange as to interfere with my life. The compulsion of having to wash when I see a dead person-even just a picture on TV can get quite annoying, but it is not something I am having to deal with on a daily basis. I do perhaps, still wash my hands too much, but at least they are not as raw as they once were.

What's on my mind

I went to Asheville today. It was a very long day due to the fact we had to leave early to drop someone off in another city. The flights were all very lovely and I did get some work completed on them.

I really wanted to go out for St. Patrick's Day, however with the early morning awakening and the long day, I am too tired to go out. Heath went out with his neighbor and celebrated at a local Irish establishment-I am kind of upset about it, but I am not going to say anything. Again on the phone, he brought up a lovely story from last St. Patrick's Day in which the neighbor's friend promised to flash him, but then did not keep her promise. I really could live without this story, it has been a year-get over it. I really do not want to hear that you want to look at naked women, but never look at me and not once-even complimented me on my appearance. Ugh!

On the way home, I read the treatment guidelines for Tourette Syndrome. The likelihood of a child who has one parent with OCD and one parent with Tourette Syndrome having Tourette Syndrome or OCD is 70-90%. Scary numbers, but is it a reason to not have children. I will admit my OCD has been bad enough to lead to suicidal gestures. I wish I had known at 12 years old, what I know now. Even several years ago, it was under diagnosed and under treated in children. Same thing for Tourette Syndrome. I do not think being a child with these conditions now is the worst thing and I do not believe it should affect my decision to have children. The only reasons I can think of at the moment is if my husband has Bipolar Disorder or Arnold Chiari Malformation. I have a previous post regarding Bipolar Disorder. Regarding the Arnold Chiari Malformation, the genetics is not too clear, but if my husband had symptomatic ACM, then I would put money on my child having symptomatic ACM.While, I know my case was nowhere near the worst case of ACM, it was definitely a challenge I would not want to go through again and not something I would want another human being to experience.

Ugh!

Today got off to a slow start, but then it took off. I had a full clinic this afternoon. Heath sent me an e-mail and so I called him back to find out when he wanted to come over for lasagna. He said tonight-which I was really hoping he would not say. I have a horrible migraine and have to get up at 4:30am to go to Asheville tomorrow.
Heath came over without calling first. I was already preparing dinner. He watched me carry out two bags of trash-tomorrow is trash day. I don't think a guy has ever watched me take out the garbage without offering to help. Of all chores-taking out the garbage is my least favorite-I actually have had panic attacks taking out the garbage. He did walk with me to the door and as I was coming back, I noticed he had put a Pepsi bottle in the blue recycling bin. I asked if he would please take the top off and rinse it out. He refused. We got in a big fight about it. It may seem like a little issue, but it is a big deal to me. He said he was going to leave, but he stayed and we spent the next hour in complete silence. What really stinks is I like him, but I have no clue how much I can put up with.