The Bridal Show

Well, today (and yesterday) were the first steps in my journey of planning a wedding. I guess I could say that they first step was actually meeting and dating Heath, but I have already blogged about that. In the next few days, I will probably create a new blog and add this post too it. I always figured my first step would be the proposal, however that has not happened yet. Since I know the ring has been purchased and Heath wants to get married in 2010, I needed all the time I could get.

This weekend Heath and I went to The Bridal Show in Raleigh, NC. It was a great event to go to, especially for a bride-to-be like me, who has no clue where to start. I have not been to any weddings in the Triangle, so I really am starting from scratch. Since my budget does not include enough for a wedding planner, I am on my own. Well, not completely on my own, Heath went with me both days, although he kept telling everyone I was the made of honor. I have not figured out my budget, but I do have a ballpark figure in mind. I will post more, when I have an idea.

The purpose of this blog will be to chronicle planning a wedding with a limited budget and limited time. The time will be about nine or ten months, however if plans do not come together, then it could be over a year.

The Bridal Show was a great place to start. There were tons of vendors for flowers, cakes, locations, caterers, DJ's, appearal, and more. I registered for many prizes, which I know gets them my contact information, but will also give me a chance to win some necessary items. I have already received a $50 gift card for David's Bridal. Heath signed up with Men's Warehouse. While we obviously have to determine if they have what we want, we have chosen them at this time because all of the attendants and parents are out-of-town and coordinating schedules with our jobs and lifestyles is a headache. Heath and I attempted to win a Blu-Ray Player, but Heath did not act silly enough-I did my part by loading him down with make-up. We did win an engagement session with a free photo. I will be commenting on the session in days to come.

My hope is that others can use this website as a tool in helping plan their big days. I definitely want to recommend those that have been most helpful. I do not plan to blog negative things about vendors, however if I do have a bad experience, then I will post it as I seem relevant. If I do go and meet with a vendor and that vendor was great, but did not fit with what I needed, then I will mention the vender in my blog, with the positive things, so that other brides and grooms may have access to the information.

Life is busy

I have a headache for several days that just refuses to go away. I know it is because I am not getting enough sleep. I will try to remedy that soon. Work has been hectic-I started doing both inpatient and outpatient at the same time. It is a juggling act.

I am working out daily which has not given me the results I want. I am exercising about 45-60minutes daily and am not losing any weight. I need to pay more attention to what I am eating. Heath wanted to know if I was still doing the treadmill. I told him no, due to the fact there is not anything interesting on television. I like doing step aerobics right now. I think he should stay out of my exercise routine.

Heath's mother's birthday is coming up. We are spending it with her. I had to come up with a gift, however I have only met her once. I could not figure out what to get her, but then I remember that she always plays with pink golf balls. I went to Golf Galaxy and got some pink golf balls and pink tees. I think she will like it.

Cape Cod

The fishing trip was a success- at least in the cod catching department. I am not sure how Heath's family feels about me. I do think that his brother and nephew like me though. We caught 80 cod and I spent today cleaning some of them. I do not remember signing on to do that when I started dating Heath. We did not catch a tuna, but I honestly do not know where we would have put the tuna because the cod filled up over three coolers, which was all we had. I caught the largest fish of the day-see above picture. I do realize that someone else is holding it-I prefer to not put pictures of people on the blog so I opted for this picture.

I forgot how much I enjoyed fishing. I am ready to go again. I think I would prefer not to catch 80 fish though. I have not fished in over 11 years and while my reason for stopping was a justifiable one, I am glad to be doing it again.

We spent 15 hours driving there and about 14.5 hours driving back. How can you tell that you really love someone? Well, I think I figured it out in the car-riding in the car (specifically the cab of a pick-up truck) for 30 hours in the span of 65 hours and not wanting to leave him to go home.

I spent another 4th of July not seeing fireworks. Hopefully next year I will see them, but I guess it isn't the end of the world if I do not see any. We did not get to see any of Boston either, which is a shame. I do not thing Heath has been, but seeing as he finds history and museums boring, I am sure I would just be hearing "are you done yet?" so maybe it was for the best. I have seen Boston, so I did not go on the trip to see Boston. Heath said that maybe we would plan another trip for sightseeing.

I spent the night at Heath's house last night for the first time. It was too late to drive to Durham to drop me off. I have only been in Heath's room twice. I am not quite sure I like being there. It reminds me that he has had a past with lots of girlfriends. I know it is stupid, but I look around and wonder which girl gave him that and which girl picked out the curtains, bed spread, etc. He does not have to wonder about that when he is here. No guy (with the exception of those that helped me move and the cable guy) has been in my room and no guy has been in my bed. He tells me that girls did not spend the night-which I know is not true, but I am glad he lied anyway. As he was leaving after dropping me off today, how many girls he had taken fishing? He paused for a few moments to think and answered that I was the first. Judging past girlfriends, I do not doubt that response. Taking me fishing makes me feel pretty special because fishing is his absolutely favorite activity. I feel happy too because he took me on a family fishing trip.

Feel free to leave me cod recipes-my father requested baked cod and Heath requested fried fish.

All things must come to an end

Hmm, looking at my page, I am wondering why my ads are not in English. No wonder no one clicks!

I just found out Heath's nephew is going on the trip. It bothers me that I am sharing a room with Heath and it bothers me what message I am sending his nephew. I know I should get over this, but I am having a difficult time doing so.

My second year is almost up. Today, I had my last trip to Asheville. While I enjoyed the flying, the people, and the experience, I definitely will not miss the early morning and the long rushed Tuesdays. I will also not miss being away from campus and the multiple voicemails and e-mails that always awaited me on Wednesday morning. I am looking forward to the end of call-which should happen shortly. Third year will be a challenge, but at least I get to face it with a full night of sleep every night. I will be juggling clinic and inpatient work everyday, but I think I am up to the challenge. I was very content on the Psychotic Unit several weeks ago, so I believe no call and doing some inpatient work will make me a happy resident.

I'm frustrated

Well, night float is over. Thankfully, I will not be working nights for a week at a time in the next two years. I wished I could have slept the whole weekend, but apparently it was not meant to be. I did get on the WiiFit 3 of the 5 days that I was post night float. I also worked out yesterday. I missed Saturday-Heath was at the house and we had a lot of errands to run. I think my tiredness combined with Heath's cranky mood made for a bad weekend-we fought the majority of the time. He has a sense of humor where he makes little remarks that can be mean. I believe it was once said that all jokes contain some truth, so I find his remarks to be mean sometimes-especially when I haven't slept. Joking aside, I was also upset that he expected me to go to the store and cook dinner Friday night-I had slept 6 hours in a 72 hour period and had only eaten 10 animal crackers in a 25 hour period-I was looking forward to eating something I did not cook. The solution was for Heath to eat Beefaroni. Saturday night, I started preparing dinner. I asked Heath if he would eat it-I fixed a Mexican dish and he only took one small bite. I have never had a person not eat my cooking so this frustrates me to no end. I am trying to make things I think he will eat.

Heath became mad because I was on the phone with my father and I told my father that Heath hates my cooking and once again was not eating what I fixed. Heath became mad and said that was turning my father against him and this relationship would not work if I talk about him to my parents. Heaven forbid that he find this blog. I guess I will try to make an effort not to blog about him. I honestly do not think the relationship will work if he demands me to cook and then does not eat my cooking. Looking into the future, how do you explain to your children that they have to eat the vegetables at the dinner table when Dad opens a can of pasta and eats it over the sink? My mother suggests I make "simple things," but I am having trouble even finding simple things he will eat.

We spent the weekend watching True Blood. Heath enjoyed it, so we ended up watching 9/12 episodes. Well at least entertaining him is easy.

Tiredness

I am so tired of being on call. I am looking forward to a life (or at least a year) where I can sleep at night. I know that I chose this profession, but at the time I do not think I fully realized the effect sleep deprivation would have on me-especially with the Chiari and Epilepsy.

I am becoming more nervous about meeting Heath's father next week. What makes it worse is Heath and I will be sharing a hotel room. I definitely do not want Heath's family to get the wrong idea about me. The truth is that I am unable to afford a second hotel room.

I would like to play some golf this weekend, but looking at my schedule, I do not know when we will be able to fit it in. I guess we can always go to the driving range.

I can not stop thinking about a friend of mine whose 6 month old daughter passed away. It is amazing to me that in 2009, the number of children under the age of 1 that die each year. Working in the hospital, I am aware that babies die, but it does not register until someone you know experiences such a horrible loss.

Is This Love That I'm Feeling?

I guess I need to get back to updating my blog since apparently people want to know what is going on with me. Life has been extremely busy lately and I have been trying to figure out transitioning from second year to third year in my residency program. I am looking forward to the end of night float and call.

I have had a slow night, so some of it was spent surfing the web. I have found the perfect wedding photographer-no I am not planning a wedding-but if I was, I would definitely give her a call. Her photographs are amazing- RebeccaClaire. I read some of her engagement stories, which made me misty-eyed. Proposals have never made an emotional impact on me, but I think that is perhaps because I never really cared about people finding love. Well, until now. So, what happened? I met someone-well actually I met someone six and a half months ago-and just about every post on this blog is about him. I am head over heels for Heath. I knew I loved him, but I came to this realization of head over heels about a week ago when I was waiting for him to finish playing golf, so we could go play golf. We had spent the previous day at a barbecue with all my co-workers. He was the first boyfriend I had introduced to co-workers. I never really cared to introduce the others to anyone. The others met my parents pretty much just because my parents were in town. I did not care for anyone to meet my sister, who I consider to be the most important person in my life-that should have been a wake-up call to how not important they were. I do not think Heath got the importance of going to Knoxville when we went the first time until he realized on the way home that no one had been to Knoxville with me. At the barbecue, he was wonderful and everyone loved him. While waiting for him to finish his golf game, I couldn't stop thinking about him-the dinner on Friday, the barbecue on Saturday, and the upcoming golf game that afternoon. I am so happy when I am with him. I am excited when I see him at the door and I am sad when the dates are over and he is walking to his car. I sent him an e-mail on Sunday night trying to tell him my feelings, but I definitely did not do my feelings justice.

Just one little problem. I am so scared of scaring him off and my sister did not help with these fears. We joke about marriage-he started these jokes, but she made several comments about it. I am also scared about the way I feel, so much so that I just want to run away to prevent being hurt. The way I feel about Heath fails in comparison with the way I feel about any other guy with the exception of CLB. I did not think it was possible for me to feel this way again. I wish the fears that he is just going to up and leave would just go away. He reassures me all the time, but it does not help much. I think my biggest fear is that he is going to die and I do not want to go through that again.

Well, forgive my rambling post. I will try to update more regularly. I do have a lot to say, just not a lot of time to say it.